#11 - The Not-So-Giant Giant

The giant started as an actual giant. I wrote this character who was huge and dreamed of being small. I realized two things quickly. One, this giant-giant was too similar to the troll with his desire to be something more than he appears to be, and two, how the heck was i going to pull off a giant on the Malt House stage? Sure, giants have found their way onto stage in shows before. There is a giant in "Into the Woods". The massive form of Kate Monster attacks Princeton's subconscious in "Avenue Q". God even makes an appearance in "Spamalot", though in Cleesey voiced goodness only. So, sure, giants can get on the stage, but those productions are pretty big time, and though I did write The Princess Knight so that it could be done grandly on a huge stage or just as easily done small, a giant was a (pardon the pun) big obstacle.
And then i thought of something to solve both the issue of similarity to the Troll and scope: What if this giant was played by the shortest, smallest of actors? What if the giant only thought they were a giant? What if they were not-so-giant?
Suddenly, i had struck a well of comedic possibilities. I imagined my niece playing the role and could see how wonderfully silly that could be. I didn't change a word of dialogue, and the sheer ridiculousness of it all was perfect for this world of Trolls who want to be knights, witches in love, and villains with anger management therapists.
One of my favorite comedic personalities is Short-guy Syndrome or a Napoleon Complex. If any of you have ever read my tcomics, then you are aware of one of my favorite characters (and whipping boy) Tim. Tim struts around with so much tenacity and bravado, but he isn't much taller than a child. There is just something so funny about a little guy who thinks he can take on the world. And it's even better when they are completely clueless about their size. It's all in the attitude.

SCARLET
(While LILY is babbling, SCARLET sees the sleeping GIANT.)
What is that?
LILY
(Looking at the GIANT just as SHE snores.)
AAAAAA!!!
GIANT
(Jolting awake and screaming automatically.)
ROOOOOOAR! (Crashing around the GIRLS a little out of it, looking about for the threat or something to squash.) Where? I’ll smash ya! I’ll pound you into the ground! I’ll step on every last one of ya!
SCARLET
Whoa! Easy, there! Take it easy!
GIANT
Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum! I smell the blood of...(Stopping the rampage, fists on the hips and looking right up at SCARLET.) Oh, hello. Did not see you way down there little ones. I could have crushed you in to a fine paste if I had not ceased my giant’s rampage.
LILY
Say what?
GIANT
I am the great and terrible giant who tromps through these woods. I use these enormous feet to pound all that pass the Troll’s bridge. I use these elephantine meaty fists to crush all who sneak into these accursed woods! Accursed as I am cursed by the Baron to be this voluminous size until I someday can break the magic that confines me. I. Am the Giant!
LILY
Now I’ve seen everything.
SCARLET
Shush, Lily.
GIANT
Hold! I hear something with my titanic ears.(SHE looks off SL.) I see something with my mighty eyes.(Squinting to get a better look.) What is this?! The woods are teaming with knights and nobles! They must have overpowered the Troll! Knights! In my woods!... waitaminute... YOU are a knight! Are you here to slay me?
SCARLET
No, no we are on our way to the Baron’s fortress.
GIANT
The Baron! Boy, I have quite a rant about THAT guy... (She just stands there not elaborating)