#14 - the Butcher, the Baker, and the Candle Stick Maker

In addition to the main cast, throughout the play, there are several moments with lines for "Random Guy #1" or "Random Lady #3" - just those moments where someone else on stage gets to say a few words. I was going over the show for the millionth time one day, and I realized that there was a pattern. In those scenes with random lines, there were always three pieces of dialogue that would need assigning. I started to imagine that these lines could be delivered by the same three company members every time and thus giving the show three more characters. I dubbed these players the Butcher, the Baker, and the Candle Maker. They act as narrators without being too obvious. They are like Sampson, Gregory, and Abraham in Romeo and Juliet, Act 1. Scene I. The trio gives the audience information without looking right at them and saying "Hey, this is the context. Pay attention." In the Princess Knight, the trio have moments like this:

BAKER
There you two are! Hurry! I need those supplies in the town square! Some crazy lady just ordered 500 hundred “Wedding Pies”!
CANDLE MAKER
What a queen the Princess Scarlet will be!
BAKER
Yes, she will be a fine wife. Beautiful and charming. Didn’t you two hear me? 500 pies. 500 “Wedding Pies”! And I don’t even know what those are!
BUTCHER
Oh certainly. She is quite beautiful.
CANDLE MAKER
One of the most beautiful - elegant even! Bewitching and divine.
BAKER
Yes, she is a knockout. Moving on.
CANDLE MAKER
Any King would be proud to have such a lovely woman.
BUTCHER
Yes... but... (Looking around as though what HE would say would be treasonous.) I have heard that she is some what of a lofty dove.
CANDLE MAKER
Meaning?
BUTCHER
(Like some dirty word.)
A dreamer.(THEY all make knowing nods and “ah’s” as though this revelations is of some illness.)
BAKER
Well, come on! The wedding feast will still be spectacular. As long as we get there with everything on time.(They vanish into the woods.)

Exposition! This trio does this throughout, and as it is with every character in this production, they could steal the show.

#13 - King Rose Petal and Emperor Prickle

Ah parents. The great scholar Willard Christopher Smith Jr. once said:
"You know parents are the same
No matter time nor place
They don't understand that us kids
Are going to make some mistakes
So to you, all the kids all across the land
There's no need to argue
Parents just don't understand"
Wise words. True in this life and in fantasy. And parents in fantasy often play crucial roles in the rebellious nature protagonists tend to have. The overbearing parent can tell a child "No" and that just causes them to do the very opposite. I wonder if Juliet would've been all that interested in Romeo if he were just Romeo Brown, the dude from the next kingdom over. Her parents had to be all forbidding and she was all ready to show them what she thought of that. Teenagers, dey tink dey know everyting. The outright "No, My Way Or Else" attitude has caused Pocahontas to take the rapids around the river bend to seek out the strange John Smith; Mulan to take up the sword of her father to protect her family's honor; and of course, Ariel's desire to be part of our world. We all have that natural fire of curiosity that is only fanned by "No!".
And if it is not the outspoken, the silent fear of parents who carefully hide the world from their child can be an invisible guiding hand as well. The fear that the child will go astray can cause a parent to hold on too tightly and only cause more desire to escape. Kala couldn't keep Tarzan from his humanity forever; Mother Robinson had to help her husband let go when Fritz and Ernst started becoming men; Arrietty was shocked to find that there were other Borrowers out in the world. How do parents find that balance of protector and observer? Often the parent - more often the stepparent - can be that villainous force that holds the hero back. But I prefer the parents who simply fear the world and what it could and will do to their little ones. Those parents have heart.
The fathers in The Princess Knight are the same as many fathers in fairy tales. They care, but they hold their offspring back too. They take too much control of their child's life. Rose Petal has carefully raised his adventurous Scarlet by keeping her interest in the great big world and its possibilities satiated with every story, play, and poem that the kingdom has, but he is determined to have her marry the correct prince. He says in the opening of the show:
"I protect Scarlet and I keep her close,
And let her dream at her behest.
But dreams are only that.
They are not the way of the world.
I'll choose the right life for my daughter.
Before being king, I'm her father."
He knows she is a dreamer, and he let's her have those, but in the end, he knows what is best for her.
Emperor Prickle has been preparing his first born to become a ruler since the day Sandstone was born. He has given the boy ever bit of training and skill so that when the time comes, he will be a great and intelligent King. Unfortunately, all that time preparing Sandstone meant less time was spent on Chester. Prickle does not understand the younger prince. Maybe Prickle never had brothers; he simply does not know what princes who will never be king do. So, he encourages Chester's imagination. He let's him play, pretend, sing, and roam about, but he doesn't put much thought into what Chester thinks is important. He says honestly, "I have only ever wanted the best for my sons." But he just doesn't get his second born.
Neither of these men are bad fathers. They both are doing their absolute best to raise children while they lead kingdoms. But Rose Petal's decision to see Scarlet married and Prickle's impatience with Chester lead to the adventure the two lovers go on. What that makes them to the audience is a matter of perspective. I myself do not see them as villains in any fashion, but that might have something to do with my own parents.
I don't mean to brag... well... actually, I do mean to brag a little bit, but my mom and dad did a pretty darn good job raising me. They always encouraged my creativity. They always supported my decisions (even if they didn't agree with something like, say, moving across the country), and they still want to know that I'm doing okay. My sense of humor and leadership came from my dad. My stubbornness and determination came from my mom. They disciplined me enough that I have a strong sense of right and wrong - stronger than many my age, but they let me fly high even if I got a little too close to the sun a few times. I might be a bit... odder than my siblings, but all of us turned out pretty well. They might not have, as the Freshest of Princes said, understood me, but they loved me, and that's what parents should always do in this life and in fantasy.

One last thing: I realize that I seem to have followed suit with a supposed classic trope of the Disney animated movies by not having any mothers in this show. Mothers seem to get the short end of the stick in the Disney animated library. In many of the films, the hero is motherless (Little Mermaid, Chicken Little, Lilo and Stitch, Pocahontas, Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, Sword and the Stone,), or the mother has died and a wicked step mother has shown up (Snow White and Cinderella), or the mom is actually whacked right there for us to see (Hunchback and Bambi). Walt Disney himself loved his mother very much, and didn't have a step one to base the evil ones on. So why is this common in the films? Well... seemingly common. It is not as prevalent as some think. There are many Disney moms alive and well (Mrs. Dumbo, Mrs. Darling, Sleeping Beauty's Mother, Perdita, Mulan's mother AND grandmother, Duchess, Sarabi, Ms. Hawkins, Repunzel's and Tiana's mothers too). So, the curse isn't as big of a deal as some make it out to be. It probably only seems that way because of those classics like Snow White and Cinderella that make it appear that mothers don't stand a chance in Disney movies. As far as Rose Petal and Prickle are concerned, I am not against casting mothers instead. Their genders are not as important as other characters.

#12 - Prince Sandstone

In any other tale, Sandstone would be the hero. He is the prince charming. He fights dragons and evil doers all over the lands. He wields a sword with ease. He's handsome, brave, and bold. He always wins the hand of the princess in every adventure he goes on. And then he goes home, kicks up his feet, relaxes...
And picks on his little brother.
He's not a villain. He just plays his role well - perfectly, even. But from his little brother's perspective, he's a big jerk. He's stronger. He's better looking. He's the apple of his father's eye, so he gets away with everything and always gets what he wants.
But in our tale, things don't play out in the typical fashion. Prince Charming doesn't get to be the hero, and that frustrates Sandstone to no end. The princess needs rescuing, and that's his job. Who the heck do these other wannabe heroes think they are? An evil sorcerer needs defeating! A giant needs slaying! A troll is blocking the path! Sandstone's got his sword and shield. Why is everyone trying to talk through their differences?! It's madness! So, the brave knight lashes out. He knows how it's all supposed to go, and anyone who thinks they can crash his party has got another thing coming. He's built for the hero business, so everyone better fall in line behind him and follow him to victory.
Sandstone is the antagonist of the Princess Knight, but again, he's not really a villain. He's not Gaston. Gaston's just plain nasty and, well, evil. And Sandstone isn't the spoiled Prince Charming from Shrek. He's more like Prince Edward from "Enchanted". The epitome of The Hero Prince. Imagine how Philip would've felt if he went to save Aurora from Maleficent and there was a sidekick level shrimp there successfully sneaking the Princess out the back door. All his hard work! Or what if Prince Ferdinand from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (yeah, that's his name. Didn't know that, did you?) showed up and Dopey or Grumpy was kissing Snow awake? (...actually... That's not a bad idea... Has anyone done that yet? I should write that... Anyway...) He'd be very disappointed. These princes are the heroes, but there are plenty of others who could save the day, and that's something Sandstone isn't prepared for. Especially if it's his silly little brother who is doing the saving.

Now, my older brother and I don't fight like typical brothers. In fact, we've never fought. Once, after the first time I saw "The Karate Kid", he walked up behind me and touched my shoulder, and I flipped him over my back like a boss, but that was the only physical confrontation we ever had. And a fluke. I had no training for such things (except from Mr. Miyagi). We never wrestled or rough housed like other brothers, so instead, my basis for Sandstone the mean older brother is everyone of my best friends from growing up. They were all older brothers, and they all smacked their siblings around in that typical fashion. My brother is a pacifist. When he was upset, he would lay face down in the middle of the hallway. We'd all just step over him like he wasn't there until he got it out of his system. I believe one of his daughters now uses the same tactic. Anyway, my only experiences with bullies are from other forces, not my wonderful big brother. And Sandstone is a bully to Chester. They are so opposite of one another, they just don't get along very much. Sandstone is like Chet from Weird Science. He's just cooler and better at everything. He doesn't understand his weirdo little bro. And because he's the first born prince in the Kingdom, he is expected to be ruler one day, so he is pampered and fawned over. Some of that goes to a person's head after long enough. He's proud of who he is and what he's been able to accomplish, and he's so good at it all that he's quite the popular guy in the lands.

GIRLS
MAKE WAY! MAKE WAY! HERE COMES THE KING!
HE'S A HERO TO THE PEOPLE AND ALL GOOD THINGS!
WHAT MORE COULD WE ASK OF OUR LEADER TO BE?
GATHER UP IN ONE VOICE AND--

SANDSTONE
All Hail Me! HA! HA! HA!

ALL
Yeah! WOOO! Hooray! etc.
(The crowd goes wild for HIM Ladies swooning and men cheering, Even the suitors don’t seem to mind. SANDSTONE is a celebrity. Everyone moves about in merriment as Sandstone walks among them.)

GIRLS
YOU’VE HEARD THE TALES
OF THE DEEDS HE’S DONE.

SANDSTONE
AND I ASSURE YOU EVERYONE OF THEM IS TRUE.

GIRLS
HE’S ALL SNIPS AND SNAILS
AND THE BATTLES WON

SANDSTONE
THERE ISN’T ANOTHER MAN ALIVE WHO CAN DO WHAT I DO.

ALL
AND HERE HE IS, OUR BRAND NEW KING
A MAN OF GLORY AND PURPOSE AND ALL GOOD THINGS
WHAT MORE COULD WE ASK OF OUR LEADER TO BE
GATHER UP AS ONE VOICE

SANDSTONE
AND ALL HAIL ME!

ALL
Yeah! WOOO! Hooray! etc.

SANDSTONE
I’VE CLIMB BEANSTALKS TO THE GIANTS
AND CAME BACK WITH ALL THEIR GOLD.
I’VE ROAMED THE WOODS KISSING BEAUTIES AWAKE
AH! AND THAT NEVER GETS OLD.
I’VE CLIMBED GOLDEN HAIR TO THE TOP OF TOWERS
I’VE SLAIN WITCHES THAT BECAME MONSTERS
PIERCED ACHILLES HEELS
FACED LIONS AND EELS
I’VE FOUGHT FEARLESSLY TO FREE FORGOTTEN WARRIORS

ALL
SANDSTONE IS SO CHARMING
HE’S HANDSOME BRAVE AND BOLD
HE’S BEEN ALL OVER FAR FAR AWAY
AND ALWAYS MAKES IT HOME
HE’S BEAT BRIGANDS IN BOOMING BATTLES
WON WARS WHILE WEARING A SMILE
THOSE TEETH, THAT HAIR, THOSE MUSCLES AND EYES,
THAT TENACIOUS VALOR AND GUILE
HIS NERVE IS NEVER FAILING
HIS BACKBONE NEVER SLIPS
NO FEAR, JUST GUTS, TAKE THAT YOU PUTZ
WAVING SWORDS AND WHIPPING WHIPS!

SANDSTONE
NOW REMEMBER WHAT WE ARE HERE FOR
THERE’S A PRINCESS IN NEED OF SOME LOVING
AND NOW THAT I’M HERE
THERE’S NO NEED TO FEAR
LET’S MAKE WITH THE KISSING AND HUGGING!

ALL
Woo! YEAH! Yay!

SANDSTONE
SO IT IS CLEAR TO ME
THAT YOU ALL AGREE
I’M THE MAN FOR THE JOB AS YOU CAN SEE
AND I AM CERTAIN SCARLET
WILL SEE IT JUST THAT WAY

ALL
WHAT MORE COULD A WOMAN ASK FOR THESE DAYS
THAN STRENGTH AND SPEED AND DASHING GOOD LOOKS?

SANDSTONE
WHEN IT COMES TO THE BEST, I WROTE THE BOOK.
WHAT MORE CAN I SAY?

ALL
WHAT MORE CAN HE SAY?

SANDSTONE
ALL HAIL ME!

#11 - The Not-So-Giant Giant

The giant started as an actual giant. I wrote this character who was huge and dreamed of being small. I realized two things quickly. One, this giant-giant was too similar to the troll with his desire to be something more than he appears to be, and two, how the heck was i going to pull off a giant on the Malt House stage? Sure, giants have found their way onto stage in shows before. There is a giant in "Into the Woods". The massive form of Kate Monster attacks Princeton's subconscious in "Avenue Q". God even makes an appearance in "Spamalot", though in Cleesey voiced goodness only. So, sure, giants can get on the stage, but those productions are pretty big time, and though I did write The Princess Knight so that it could be done grandly on a huge stage or just as easily done small, a giant was a (pardon the pun) big obstacle.
And then i thought of something to solve both the issue of similarity to the Troll and scope: What if this giant was played by the shortest, smallest of actors? What if the giant only thought they were a giant? What if they were not-so-giant?
Suddenly, i had struck a well of comedic possibilities. I imagined my niece playing the role and could see how wonderfully silly that could be. I didn't change a word of dialogue, and the sheer ridiculousness of it all was perfect for this world of Trolls who want to be knights, witches in love, and villains with anger management therapists.
One of my favorite comedic personalities is Short-guy Syndrome or a Napoleon Complex. If any of you have ever read my tcomics, then you are aware of one of my favorite characters (and whipping boy) Tim. Tim struts around with so much tenacity and bravado, but he isn't much taller than a child. There is just something so funny about a little guy who thinks he can take on the world. And it's even better when they are completely clueless about their size. It's all in the attitude.

SCARLET
(While LILY is babbling, SCARLET sees the sleeping GIANT.)
What is that?
LILY
(Looking at the GIANT just as SHE snores.)
AAAAAA!!!
GIANT
(Jolting awake and screaming automatically.)
ROOOOOOAR! (Crashing around the GIRLS a little out of it, looking about for the threat or something to squash.) Where? I’ll smash ya! I’ll pound you into the ground! I’ll step on every last one of ya!
SCARLET
Whoa! Easy, there! Take it easy!
GIANT
Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum! I smell the blood of...(Stopping the rampage, fists on the hips and looking right up at SCARLET.) Oh, hello. Did not see you way down there little ones. I could have crushed you in to a fine paste if I had not ceased my giant’s rampage.
LILY
Say what?
GIANT
I am the great and terrible giant who tromps through these woods. I use these enormous feet to pound all that pass the Troll’s bridge. I use these elephantine meaty fists to crush all who sneak into these accursed woods! Accursed as I am cursed by the Baron to be this voluminous size until I someday can break the magic that confines me. I. Am the Giant!
LILY
Now I’ve seen everything.
SCARLET
Shush, Lily.
GIANT
Hold! I hear something with my titanic ears.(SHE looks off SL.) I see something with my mighty eyes.(Squinting to get a better look.) What is this?! The woods are teaming with knights and nobles! They must have overpowered the Troll! Knights! In my woods!... waitaminute... YOU are a knight! Are you here to slay me?
SCARLET
No, no we are on our way to the Baron’s fortress.
GIANT
The Baron! Boy, I have quite a rant about THAT guy... (She just stands there not elaborating)

#10 - The Troll

Once upon a time...
there was a smelly and slimy family of trolls. There was a Father Troll and and Mother Troll, though to be honest, there wasn't much to tell the difference between the two of them, but maybe that's one of those things that people say happens. You know, that thing that when couples are together long enough they start to resemble one another. And this pair was equal parts spit, drool, and boogers. Yes, lots of boogers. But they were not alone in their smelliness nor their snottiness. They had many troll children. There were twelve large and aggressive troll brothers who all followed in their much larger and much more aggressive father's over-sized and toe-jammed shoes and trolled all over the lands. The twelve of them hid under bridges and ate billy goats. They hid on the forests and attacked children. Bob bombarded the Land of Make-Believe. The triplets Bert, Bill, and Tom were known to argue over the best way to eat little furry-footed men. A few chased gnomes. Some lived in caves, others dwelled in isolated mountains. No matter where they were though, they were rarely described as helpful or friendly - they were never describe that way actually. Mostly, they were all described as being extremely strong, but slow and dim-witted, and some were even man-eaters! None ever turned to stone in sunlight though. That seemed to be one of those variations of troll lore that was developed in stories, like genies being friendly or vampires twinkling. Silliness and false. and dumb, in this writer's opinion.
This troll family was successful in their trolliness. There was however, one brother that was not quite so successful. The thirteenth troll brother was a sad disappointment and a stain on the family's reputation as the grossest of troll families. The thirteenth troll brother never succeeded in anything. No matter how hard he tried to be like this brothers, he could never get the hang of being a troll. Yes, he was slow and dim-witted, but he had a natural curiosity that all trolls frown upon. The thirteenth brother wanted to know things. He wanted to know why flowers smelled like sweet things when they came from the same dirt he bathed in. He wanted to see what was over the mountains instead of always living under them. But most of all, he wanted to feel the excitement of heroics.
The poor unsuccessful troll did not want to let his family down though. He went out and found a bridge in need of a troll. He became the sentry tasked in stopping all who tried to cross that bridge. He wasn't terrible, it turned out - not as terrible as everyone in his family had come to expect - but he wasn't good either. Every time a knight would appear, they would beat him up and pass over the bridge. But still he tried. And secretly he dreamed of other adventures.
One day, while attempting to spit farther than his brother Snori had been made king for, he inhaled too deeply and swallowed a particularly large bug that had been fluttering by. He began to choke. He stumbled through the trees and came upon a young human female who appeared to be doing nothing more than singing to sparrows and woodland creatures. He attempted to communicate his situation but only managed to sputter and gurgle. He attempted charades, but she wasn't paying enough attention to his movements. She seemed more concerned with screaming at the top of her lungs. And just when he thought all was lost, a man in a shiny metal outfit came out of nowhere and and struck him across the back. The bug flew from the troll's chapped, cracked lips and soared into the sky. The man in the shiny outfit scooped up the hysterical female and rode off into the forest. As they galloped away, the Troll got a glimpse of the look of joy on the female's face and the way she beamed up at the man in the shiny outfit.
it was then that the thirteenth troll brother knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to be a knight! He wanted to see that look on the faces of those who looked upon him, instead of the looks of terror and disgust he had learned to expect.
And so, though he often forgot just what exactly he was supposed to do or what exactly he would rather be doing, the unsuccessful, slow and dim-witted, and kind at heart Troll guarded that bridge while imagining a life in a shiny suit and saving things.
and then a small knight appeared one day and didn't outright attack him...

Kronk, Fezzik, The Cowardly Lion. At first glance, threats! Villains! Dangerous! But really, they're just big softies. The heroes are often surprised to find that despite appearances, the thugs in tales have dreams too. "I had a dream once..." claimed a Hook Handed Thug.
I would like to believe many of the fights that occur in the world could be avoided if the opposing forces just talked things through instead of jumping to conclusions. We all make snap decisions based on what we assume. But as Tony Randall always said, "When you assume, you make an ass out of you and..." something... I forget the rest... But the point stays true. We can't just assume that because a big stinky troll looks threatening that they are a threat. Maybe they just look the way they do because of certain circumstances in their lives. We won't know what those circumstances are if we just attack!
The Troll is sweet and simple. He's not the menace that other trolls are. And he's not Shrek, (though I will admit there is a certain amount of similarity here). Shrek's an ogre, first of all, but Shrek wants to just be who he is and damn whatever the world says. The Troll wants to be more. He wants to go beyond the expectations of his family and the world. He's like a friend of mine who came from a family full of people who never went to college, some not even high school graduates; a family of janitors and gas station workers who never strived for anything more. My friend went to college. He teaches kindergarden full time. He went further than the expectations. The Troll is not what we assume.

I am reminded of a story from the stand-up comedian Ant. He was performing in Harrison, Arkansas, which is, as the Welcome sign leading into town states, "Proud home of the KKK." Ant is a gay comic, and he's not a little gay. he's a proud Queen. He was up on stage performing for a room of the whitest bunch of down south good ol' boys you could imagine, and once he really got going into his regular shtick, the crowd was growing aggravated. This huge guy - biggest guy in the place - Bubba, was sitting in the front row. Tattoos all over his body, gigantic beard - a Viking. After only a short time of Ant's set, Bubba stood up, climbed onto the stage, and literally picked Ant up. Bubba carried him, kicking and screaming, right out of the backstage door. The massive Viking threw Ant into the back of his beat-up black Toyota and said, "We gotta get you out of here, little buddy, or they're gonna KILL you!"
And Ant was safely wisked to the airport by this gentle and heroic troll of a man.

#9 - The Wolf

Once Upon a Time...
there was a wolf who stalked and roamed the gnarled and twisted lands of the Briar Patch. This Wolf had the unfortunate task of being the spy - the covert eyes and ears of the evil Baron Von Briar Thorn. And more unfortunately, he was very, very good at it. Having lived as long as he could remember within the dark lands of the Patch, the Wolf knew every twist and turn, ever nook and cranny, every knot and bend. He could slide through the land with ease and hide where he could hear every whisper and hiss. And all of this - all of his great skill - was most unfortunate because he dreamed of more.
The Wolf dreamed that maybe one day he would earn the chance to see everything that the world beyond the Briar Patch has to offer. He dreamed that if he served the evil Baron long enough and well enough that somewhere, deep in the dank corners of the Baron's... heart... the man would find it in him to allow the Wolf to go free.
Free to learn what the world has. Free to learn where he, the Wolf, came from, for you see, the Wolf was once a man... At least, the Wolf believed that he wasn't always a wolf. He believed that he was once a man. Somehow, for some reason, the Baron cursed him and transformed him into the Wolf, and somehow, he will learn who he was.
But until that day does come, he is stuck in his role waiting for a hint of a chance to see and find his true purpose in this world.

There are characters that just know - just know deep down in their very core that they are meant for so much more. Luisa in the Fantasticks knows she is more than just a girl sitting in front of a mirror. Tom Wingfield secretly dreams of much more than stacking shoes in a warehouse. The Scarecrow, Tin Woodsman, and Lion all want something to allow them to move further in the world. And the Wolf, along with his fellow captives of the Briar Patch (who we'll meet next), dream of a life free of the Baron's power.
The trio in the Wizard of Oz were definitely an inspiration in the creation of the Wolf and his compatriots, but in many tales of journeys into realms unknown the lead meets a bunch of odd folks. The Phantom Tollbooth, Labyrinth, Alice's adventures, James and the Giant Peach - gathering a group of strangers from different walks of life offers far more opportunities than a group of people and characters who are all too alike. Would the Narnia books be all that compelling if it was just the Pervensie kids? Thankfully we get Mr. and Mrs. Beaver, Fox, Reepicheep, and many others who spice it all up.
To me, the supporting characters can take a so-so story and launch it into greatness. The supporting characters (if you haven't been able to see from Vesper and the Therapist) in the Princess Knight are ripe for stealing the show with their various oddities and with their songs!

#8 - Vesper

VESPER
THAT'S RIGHT! ISN'T HE GRAND?
BARON VON BRIAR THORN
HE'S SO EVIL AND I HOPE THAT HE KEEPS GETTING WORSE.
YOU CROSS HIM, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT WILL OCCUR
HE'LL PUT A NASTY SPELL RIGHT ON YA THAT'S THE END OF YOUR WORLD!
See ya later, Doc! Let me know if you need anything for that new stump. Bandages. Ointment. Lemon juice. (To the BARON and smiles like a school girl with a crush.) Are you ready for your “loyal” and “respectful” subjects, my handsome sir? Or should I just tell ‘em to bugger off leaving just the two of us?

BARON
And why would I want that?

VESPER
We could practice...(Striking an apparently seductive pose.) Incantations on one another.

BARON
(HE stifles a gag and waves to VESPER.)
Send in the subjects.

VESPER
Oh, Very well, Baron. Ingrates!! Enter!

Vesper is the very loyal servant of Von Briar Thorn. A witch by name only, she doesn't have any powers of her own other than her cruelty, and Vesper... she likes the Baron. She loves how vile and evil he is. Nothing thrills her more than when his temper flares and he starts blasting everyone and everything around him, even if it's her in the cross-hairs. She is much more like Smee than the Therapist - loyal to the very end no matter what. It fills her with such glee. Of course, the Baron has zero interest in this witch, but that doesn't stop a... um... "girl" from wishfully thinking.

Everyone has their thing, right? Some people have tastes that defy explanation. I hear conversations all the time that are something like:
"I think Amy Poehler is pretty."
"Ew! What?"
- or:
"Jesse James is sexy."
"Jesse James the guy who dressed up like a Nazi and cheated on Sandra Bullock?"
"...um... well, not because of that but... yeah, that guy."
"...Sure. Whatever you say."

It's opinion. Can't be wrong. Just really, really messed up sometime.
So, Vesper is totally into guys who fist fight the elderly and literally steals candy from babies. She thinks the guy is dreamy despite his utter-bad guy-ness. Maybe she's never tried dating outside her type (though that certainly implies that she's dated at all). Whatever her reasons, she knows what she likes and she's actually patient and determined enough to wait for his heart to sway in her direction. That is, of course, until the Baron gets the crazy notion to go and get a princess. Vesper isn't too thrilled with this development and is ready to take this blasted Princess Scarlet out and away from her dreamy and dastardly dude!

Vesper came out of nowhere as I wrote this show. I really don't know where the notion of this wicked lady with a penchant for bad guys developed from. She's certainly not an avatar of girls who go for the bad boy, at least not in a typical fashion, though I suppose that's what she is at her core. Most of the characters in the Princess Knight are versions or amalgamations of my favorite characters from every type of story. Vesper? She just sort of emerged from the story itself. As I developed the silly and complicated characters that fill our world, Vesper elbowed her way through my imagination and hopped out onto the page. And her large, ostentatious personality is one of my favorites in the show. She has so many opportunities to steal the show. Even better, she can be played by any type or age. I am quite excited to see the way people think Vesper can be portrayed...

#7 - The Therapist

Villains tend to surround themselves with lackys - with Yes-men and henchmen who will do the deeds the big bad can't or won't do himself. The Baron Von Briar Thorn is no different. He has a crew of characters who do his bidding... some just a bit more willing than others... In fact, only one really does what the Baron wants with gusto, but we'll get to that; the others accomplish tasks less than happily.
And high on this list of the Baron's court is the Therapist.
Oh, the poor Doctor - the whipping boy to the Baron and the butt of jokes from everyone else. He tries his best, but sadly, his best only gets him misery.
For what ever reason - reasons unclear to most - the Baron hired himself an anger management therapist. Yup, a therapist to work out the evilness that makes the Baron so bad. Seems like a logical thing, right? An ill-tempered fella might need someone to find the root of their evil. There have been many villains who could have used a good doctor to figure out what makes their clock tick backwards. Some villains don't even need a doctor. We all see what makes them so... wonky. Prince John in Disney's Robin Hood would suck his thumb and cry for mummy when things didn't work out. Obviously some mother issues, right? How about Gaston? Someone sure wasn't told "No" enough when they were just a little meathead. Some times the bad guys just need a good sit down and cry session with a competent shrink. And somehow, the Baron thought he'd do just that. He went out, kidnapped himself a professional, and put him to work.
This once proper gentleman is now at the mercy of the erratic evil ruler. He cannot escape his duty as mental physician, so he tries and tries again to crack the hard shell of the Baron. He tries to get deep into the murky madness of Von Briar Thorn and hopefully discover what makes him so evil. Although, typically, the sessions end with the Therapist getting blasted with some magic and yelled at until he leaves the room. But ever-loyal, he keeps coming back for more. He puts up with a lot from the Baron and everyone else because he is determined to do his job.
He wouldn't be the first who attempts his duties despite everyone shoving him aside. Cogsworth is constantly under-minded by the rest of Beast's court, Swearengen's men let him go bananas on them and they still cry when he's hurt. What about the hapless Smee?
Maybe it's because they know what would happen if they left. The Therapist in the Princess Knight is a bit like Zazu from the Lion King. He has no choice once Scar takes over. He serves reluctantly, sure - but he does his job.
Whatever the case, the Doctor is at the Baron's side through the course of the show constantly sharing his feelings on matters, whether the Baron wants to hear it or not... and when he doesn't want to hear it...
The Therapist tends to loose a little bit of himself.
One of the best parts about the role of the Therapist is all the physical humor he gets to do. I grew up watching the Three Stooges with my Dad and my Grandpa Jack. I love a good smack in the face gag. And the poor Doc in our show gets a wide variety of injuries throughout the entire adventure. He might just be as much of a mental case as the man he is trying to help, but he is still trying. He's no fool. He does know a thing or two. Here is a scene between the Therapist and Chester while the Baron sits watching in annoyance...

CHESTER
Doctor, I have told many tales about many different types of people. I think I know more than you do.

THERAPIST
Ha! Ha-ha! Oh? Is zat so?

CHESTER
...yes... "Zat" is so.

THERAPIST
Oh ho-ho-ho! Vell, do tell me, "Prin-zez". Tell me about zeese characterz you know zo vell.

MUSIC BEGINS
CHESTER
I know a master detective
whose skills of detection astound.
He can enter a room, see the smallest of details,
and soon the truth is found!
Sure he doesn't know the earth circles the sun
and his retorts are less than complimentary,
but to him even the most complex of crime
is merely elementary!

THERAPIST
Hmmm... Yes... Quite zimple... AHEM
(Speaking very rapidly)
Uneven obzessionz vith random topicz, a narrow range of capacities for memorizing lists or trivial information, visual-spatial skillz are not zigns of an enthuziast... Azperger's.

CHESTER
(Pazed slightly)
... Oh... Okay... um... That doesn't prove anything! I still say I am better at reading people.

THERAPIST
Round two zhen?

CHESTER
A child of the deep blue ocean,
but dreaming to be part of our world.
Collecting treasure upon treasure
is this vocally talented girl.
She doesn't know what half the things do
but she keeps them all to inspire
to motivate and drive her hopes
to join the world above the water.

THERAPIST
(Speaking rapidly)
Und compulsively collecting and hiding avay items zat she has developed an emotional attachment to - neglecting day to day responzibilitiez. Maybe you don't know zee people as vell as you claim. Zat is Disposophobia.

CHESTER
Dis-a-what now?

THERAPIST
Hoarding.

CHESTER
Oh...

THERAPIST
Again?

CHESTER
A Beauty who gets lost in books
with no place he town for her

THERAPIST
Zelf-imposed zocialy izolated
Schizoid Personality Disorder

CHESTER
A chatcher in the rye
who lost his friend, brother, and borrowed sweater

THERAPIST
Should talk vith me as soon as can be
about his pozt traumtic stress dizorder.

CHESTER
A Good witch who gives ruby shoes
To help Dorothy to find catharsis

THERAPIST
Puts zat poor girl through a long unnecessary journey.
Classic Sadist is my diagnosis.

It iz now your time to admit
zat I am zee expert and you don't know spit!
Put your sorries in a sack
it is YOU who is zee hack!
I won't take anymore interruptions today--

BARON
Doc!

THERAPIST
Vat?!

BARON
Go away.

(The Baron blasts the Therapist square in the chest sending the poor doctor directly out of the door and out of sight.)

#6 - The Evil Baron Von Briar Thorn

Baron Von Briar Thorn is a villain. He rules the Briar Patch with very little regard for the subjects who, for whatever reason, remain in the land. He has been accused of ruining crops because he didn't like the way they smelled. He turned a sister into an ostrich because she was too punctual. He picks on the elderly because, as he puts it, "They won't remember anyway". He burned a house down because huffing and puffing would've taken too long. He took a bologna cheddar cheese sandwich from a guy, and he doesn't even like bologna, and then banished all bologna from the kingdom because he could not spell it correctly on the first try. He once kidnapped a whole family because they were known for their bed making skills, and not building beds, but making them after a night of sleep. He punched a baby who was "giving him attitude". Yes, the Baron is a villain.
But why is he so evil?
That is the question several ask during the course of The Princess Knight. Scarlet only sees him as the threat. She doesn't care about his motives. Chester, on the other hand, thinks he sees something more than an evil ruler. The Baron's people have varying opinions as well. His servant witch, Vesper, loves his evilness. While his minions wish to be free of his hold over them.
And then there is the Therapist. For reasons unknown, the evil Baron Von Briar Thorn has hired himself an anger management therapist to work through these villainous ways. Over the course of the show, we see cracks in the facade of nastiness and maybe, maybe there's more to the Baron than just blasting spells and badness.

Some of the best heroes really are made by the best villains. Batman has the best rogues gallery. Joker, Mr. Freeze, Catwoman, the Penguin, Scarecrow, Riddler, I could go on and on. Having these great villains makes Batman way more interesting. People would probably appreciate Superman more if he didn't have the lamest bad guys to fight. Who really wants to be Luke? Darth Vader's got the cloak and the red lightsaber, and the voice. The bad guys are the roles people really want to play. It's way more fun to be bad in plays. Othello's all right, but everyone wants a shot at playing Iago. Villains get the best clothes and usually have all the fun one-liners to taunt the heroes with. And the songs they get to sing are usually the best songs in the show. "Poor Unfortunate Souls", "Mr. Oogie Boogie", "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch".
But beyond the costumes or dialogue, the villains can often be more complex. Why are they the way they are? What led them to wanting to be the kind of person they are? And the more interesting the history - the more colorful and twisted, the better the character. Who was the Wicked Witch of the West before she was dubbed Elphaba? She was just the green meanie who was all "I'm melting!" and "I'll get you my pretty!" But then we got Wicked, and well, who wants to play Dorothy now?
The Baron has an arch. Just like the interesting princes, our villain is more than just a plot device. At first glance, sure, he comes off as just "The Bad Guy", but then Chester asks him why:

CHESTER
Baron, let me ask you something.
BARON
Is it... evil?
CHESTER
Uh... no... It’s just... Why are you such a - a - a mean guy?
BARON
(Shrugging and not understanding the question.)
Because it is what I do.
CHESTER
“What you do”?
BARON
Correct. I am the bad guy. Or have you not noticed?
CHESTER
Oh, I’ve noticed. But... why? Why not be something else?
BARON
(Getting agitated.)
Because this is me. This is what I am.
CHESTER
Well haven’t you ever thought about being - I don’t know - something else? There is a world of possibilities. You could be something else entirely.
BARON
(Pointing HIS wand sharply at CHESTER.)
Silence!
CHESTER
You have never even thought about the possibilities, have you?
BARON
I - I - I -
CHESTER
Thought so. Let me tell you a story, Baron. Once upon a time, there was a dread pirate who sailed the seven seas...

The Baron is being bad because that's his role. But like many of the characters in our show, he starts to learn that there is more to life than being what you're told to be; or doing what you're told to do. There are possibilities...

#5 - Chester

Chester is not a dashing heroic knight in shining armor. He is a goofy and fun-loving entertainer. He spends his days traveling and telling tales to the locals. He acts out plays as one-man shows. He sings and dances. He brings joy to all he meets. His older brother thinks he is a fool who wastes his time. Their father loves both of his sons, but doesn't expect much from Chester. That's fine by him though. A lot less pressure if he doesn't have great expectations to live up to. Chester collects tales to share and creates his own adventures through those stories.
And it is this natural joy for the simple things in life that draws Scarlet to Chester. She sees him entertaining a group of children and he is unlike any of the suitors who have been vying for her affection. The two meet and are connected by their mutual love for fairy tales and fanciful journeys.

This sort of free spirit is the kind of character I always liked. The love interest in most fairy tales is the dashing and handsome Prince Charming. But what do we really know about Snow White's or Cinderella's prince? We know they're good looking, and... um... rich... and live in nice castles. That's pretty sweet, I guess, if you're into that sorta thing. But what else?... Nothing. They're boooooring. Prince Phillip is pretty cool. He goes against his father's wishes and follows his heart to Sleeping Beauty. There's a little more to him. At least he has a name. Beast is a great character. He's got a whole lot going on. He's got history and dreams. He's a full fledged character, not just a plot device.
I've always liked the less than smooth heroes - the ones who don't have all the training and riches to be the knight in shining armor. Aladdin lets his larger than life dreams take him on a journey way out of his comfort zone, but his guts keep him going with the flow. He takes it all on with a smile on his face - "...wish me happy landing. All I gotta do is jump!" Westley, a farmboy kidnapped by pirates, becomes the famed Dread Pirate Roberts and saves his love from the odious Prince Humperdinck - "Why'd you say that name? You promised me you would never say that name!" Tristan Thorn promises his crush he'll get a fallen star for her and ends up in a world of flying lightning thief pirates, witches, and ghostly dead brothers. Hiccup is considered a screw-up, but he shows the whole village that brains can trump brawn.
None of these young men were ready for their adventures, but they became the heroes of their tales. They didn't have the training or the know-how, but they had it in them to be great - everyone has it in them to be great. Chester shares this message in his song "Where A Hero Gets Their Start":

"Heroes are made of more than muscle.
Heroes are made of stuff of the heart.
All that good stuff that you got inside,
that's where a hero gets their start.
Forget the stories of knights in steel,
I know a tailor who won the day.
Heroes are made of giant hearts..."

It's easier - and more fun - to relate to the everyman characters than it is to the dashing, rich ones. Flynn Rider the thief; young Wart, the once and future king; Frodo and Bilbo Baggins are the unlikely heroes of their tales, and they were just little guys (though Aragorn, while a king, is still a pretty bad ass hero... He wasn't really a king though. Boromir is more along the lines of the silver spoon prince, but there I go digressing).
I guess what I'm saying is that Chester is the dorky guy who might just get the girl in the end. I have no idea why I would created such a character. I'm totally not a dork. Right?